What would Jesus do when faced with the hatred of groups like the American Family Association and Focus on the Family? That's the question Mark Morford, of SF Gate, must have asked himself when he wrote "Jesus Bans 'Christian' Group; Shocking announcement sends militant Focus on the Family organization into crazed tailspin." The pointed, hilarious column seems to have been provoked by Focus on the Family's pulling of its accounts from the Wells Fargo Bank because the bank had donated money to gay rights groups.
[Warning: not for those who think reading humor involving Jesus will send them to hell.]
Here are a couple of paragraphs to whet your appetite, but go read the whole thing--the AFA gets its licks, too.
In an astonishing but not completely unexpected announcement, Jesus H. Christ, vice president and CFO of All That Is Inc., appeared today on a large tortilla at a roadside taco stand in Zacatecas, Mexico, to announce that, effective immediately, the pseudo-Christian group Focus on the Family, led by Dr. James Dobson and best known for its blazing hatred of gays and its fear of glimpsing the human female nipple during nationally televised sporting events, is effectively banned from His Divine Beneficence.
"What happened was, the heavens and all spirits of goodness, along with Buddha and Shiva and Allah and Kali and a few others, well, we were having some margaritas and playing poker and tossing around recent headlines, when Allah chimed in that this Focus on the Family group -- a real scab on my big toe for years, I gotta tell you -- well, they just decided to yank all their accounts from a bank over the bank's support of gay rights," said Jesus, dressed in black Diesel jeans, Hugo Boss motorcycle boots and a snug tank top featuring a large OM symbol across the chest.
By the way, Wells Fargo is apparently unconcerned about Focus on the Family's withdrawal of funds. They didn't even have to learn from Ford's experience.
And you should also treat yourself to Morford's other columns, which are archived.